Nervous System Basics for Christian Moms

If you've been struggling with stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, understanding your nervous system might be the missing piece. This isn't complicated neuroscience—it's practical knowledge that can transform how you experience daily life as a mom.

What Is the Nervous System?

Your nervous system is like your body's internal communication network. It's constantly scanning your environment for safety or danger and responding accordingly. When it perceives safety, you can rest, connect, and think clearly. When it perceives danger (or too much stress), it goes into protective mode.

The Three States

Your nervous system operates in three main states:

1. Ventral Vagal (Safe and Social)

This is your "rest and digest" state. When you're here, you can:

• Think clearly and make good decisions
• Connect with others authentically
• Parent from a place of calm
• Access creativity and problem-solving
• Rest and recover

2. Sympathetic (Fight or Flight)

This is your "go" state. It's helpful in short bursts (like when you need to respond quickly), but problematic when stuck here. You might experience:

• Racing thoughts
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability
• Feeling "wired but tired"
• Constant urgency

3. Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown)

This is your "freeze" state. When overwhelmed, your system might shut down. You might feel:

• Numb or disconnected
• Depressed or hopeless
• Exhausted but can't rest
• Difficulty engaging with life

Why Moms Get Stuck

As moms, we're often stuck in sympathetic (fight or flight) mode because:

• We're constantly managing multiple demands
• Sleep deprivation keeps our system on high alert
• We feel responsible for everyone's well-being
• We rarely get true rest or recovery time
• We're managing our own stress plus our family's stress

How to Regulate Your Nervous System

The good news is that you can learn to regulate your nervous system. Here are practical tools:

1. Breath Work

Your breath is the fastest way to signal safety to your nervous system:

• Box breathing: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
• Extended exhale: Inhale 4, exhale 6-8 (longer exhale signals safety)
• Belly breathing: Breathe deep into your belly, not just your chest

2. Grounding Techniques

When you feel dysregulated, ground yourself in the present moment:

• 5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
• Feel your feet: Notice your feet on the ground, your body in your chair
• Name what's true: "I'm safe. I'm here. This moment will pass."

3. Movement

Gentle movement helps discharge stress energy:

• Walking (especially in nature)
• Stretching or yoga
• Dancing to music
• Shaking your body (literally shaking out tension)

4. Co-Regulation

Your nervous system can be regulated by being around regulated people:

• Spend time with calm, safe people
• Hug someone you trust (20-second hugs release oxytocin)
• Pet an animal
• Connect with your community

5. Create Safety Signals

Help your nervous system recognize safety:

• Create a calming environment (soft lighting, calming scents)
• Establish routines and predictability
• Set boundaries that protect your energy
• Practice self-compassion

A Christ-Centered Approach

Remember that your body was designed to respond to stress—it's not broken. But in our modern world, our stress response can get stuck "on." Learning to regulate your nervous system isn't about eliminating stress (that's impossible) but about helping your body return to a state of safety and rest.

Scripture reminds us: "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Sometimes being still isn't just spiritual—it's also physiological. When we help our bodies return to a state of safety, we can better connect with God and hear His voice.

When to Seek Help

If you're experiencing chronic dysregulation (constant anxiety, panic attacks, dissociation, or depression), consider working with a therapist or coach who understands nervous system regulation. You don't have to manage this alone.

Small Steps Forward

You don't have to master all of these tools at once. Start with one—maybe breath work or grounding. Practice it when you're calm so it's easier to access when you're stressed. Small, consistent practices add up over time.

You're Not Broken

If you've been struggling with stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, please know you're not broken. Your nervous system is doing its job—it just might need some support to return to a state of safety and rest.

Want to learn more about regulating your nervous system and managing stress as a Christian mom? Let's talk about how coaching can support you in this journey.