Why You Feel So Overwhelmed (And It's Not Because You're 'Bad at Motherhood')

If you're a mom feeling constantly overwhelmed, I want you to hear this first: You're not bad at motherhood. You're not failing. And you're definitely not alone.

The feeling of overwhelm isn't a character flaw—it's often a sign that your nervous system is stuck in overdrive. Understanding this can change everything.

What Overwhelm Really Is

Overwhelm happens when your nervous system perceives too many demands at once. Your brain goes into survival mode, and suddenly even small tasks feel impossible. This isn't weakness—it's your body's protective response.

Common signs of overwhelm include:

• Feeling like you can't handle even simple tasks
• Difficulty making decisions
• Feeling paralyzed or frozen
• Irritability and emotional reactivity
• Physical symptoms like tension, headaches, or fatigue
• Difficulty sleeping even when exhausted

Why Moms Are Especially Vulnerable

As moms, we're managing:

• Constant demands from children
• Household responsibilities
• Often work or other commitments
• Relationship needs
• Our own physical and emotional needs
• Spiritual growth and community involvement

That's a lot. And when your nervous system is already dysregulated, even normal mom-life demands can feel overwhelming.

The Overwhelm Cycle

Here's what often happens: You feel overwhelmed, so you try to do more to "catch up." But this increases the stress, which makes you more overwhelmed, which makes you try to do even more. It's a cycle that leaves you exhausted and feeling like you're failing.

Breaking the Cycle

The key to breaking the overwhelm cycle isn't to do more or try harder. It's to regulate your nervous system. Here are practical tools:

1. Recognize the Signs Early

Pay attention to your body's signals. When you notice tension, irritability, or that "I can't handle this" feeling, that's your cue to pause and regulate.

2. Use Your Breath

Your breath is the fastest way to signal safety to your nervous system. When you feel overwhelmed:

• Take 4 slow breaths in through your nose
• Hold for 4 counts
• Exhale slowly for 6 counts
• Repeat 3-4 times

3. Name What's True

When overwhelmed, your brain often catastrophizes. Practice naming what's actually true:

• "I have a lot to do, but I don't have to do it all right now."
• "I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I'm safe and I have support."
• "This is hard, but I can handle hard things."

4. Lower Your Standards (Temporarily)

When you're in overwhelm, it's okay to lower your standards. Frozen meals are fine. A messy house is okay. Not everything has to be perfect—or even good. Sometimes "done" is enough.

5. Ask for Help

You don't have to do everything alone. Ask your spouse, a friend, or family member for help. Delegate what you can. Say no to things that aren't essential.

A Christ-Centered Perspective

Remember that Jesus didn't call you to be perfect or to do everything. He called you to follow Him—and sometimes that means resting, saying no, and accepting help. Your worth isn't tied to how much you accomplish.

When Overwhelm Becomes Chronic

If you're experiencing chronic overwhelm, it might be time to look deeper. Sometimes overwhelm is connected to:

• Unstable blood sugar (affecting your stress response)
• Sleep deprivation
• Unprocessed trauma or stress
• Lack of boundaries
• Trying to do too much

Addressing these underlying issues can help you find lasting relief.

You're Not Alone

If you're reading this and thinking, "Yes, this is me," please know you're not alone. Many moms struggle with overwhelm, and there's no shame in needing support or tools to help you manage it.

Next Steps

If overwhelm is impacting your daily life, consider:

1. Working with a coach or therapist who understands nervous system regulation
2. Addressing underlying metabolic health issues that might be contributing
3. Learning practical tools for managing stress and overwhelm
4. Building a support system of people who understand

You don't have to stay stuck in overwhelm. There's hope, and there's help available.

Want to explore how coaching might support you in managing overwhelm? Let's talk about what you need and how I can help.